i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
