So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
