dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
