She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
