the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Im part way to drunk.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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