Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
