kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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