he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
