i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
