Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
