I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
