i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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