my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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