i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
