she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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