Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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