Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
