I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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