Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
