For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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