she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
