Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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