I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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