Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize