what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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