I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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