My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
