And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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