bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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