dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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