Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
