he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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