i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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