what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
