She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize