If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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