she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
a search helicopter?!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
