I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
