After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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