I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
