just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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