dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
