Fuck appropriateness.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
