the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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