You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
