I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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