He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
