and you said cock pushups were impossible
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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