this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
