The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
