For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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