Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
