Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
