I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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