cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
