I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize