You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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