It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
