We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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