I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
