oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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