he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize