The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
