Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
