I've blown a few things in my day
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
