They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
