I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
