Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
