just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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