Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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