i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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