So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
