Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize